A week from Hell

I have so much going on all at once that its just so hard. Im to the point that im just depress about everything. Im always going and going that it feels like it never stops. I ran out of birth control and we are still waiting on our insurance to kick in. I was only on my period for a day this month it hasnt been the same still giving birth and i hurt so bad down there. Now i dont have any birth control and all i do is bleed and hurt. SO i called a health clinic just to get in and get some more BC but the next date that they have open is oct 1 i cant wait that long.My body is so tried that i dont even want to clean my own house. so far next month i have 7 dr appt and those are all for the kids it seems like every week im at a dr office. Gavin is about to have his last injection and then surgery i tried to be so brave and not let anyone see that im so scared for this next surgery i have cried so much just thinking about it. i know that i didnt give birth to him but in my heart he is mine and to know that he has to go through so much at such a young age just breaks my heart. i know i shouldnt think this way but its only human i keep thinking what if something goes wrong what if he doesnt make it. its just such a big surgery and a even bigger surgery for him.

We get wic which pays for some of skylar milk since we are a large family on one income they help well i missed the appt because i got my dates all confused and sch. gavin an injection that day. so we cant get another appt until the end of september. we already spend alot of money on her milk without their help because they only pay for 9 cans now we have to pay for the 9 cans and the 4 extra cans that we buy a month. and i know that this may not sound like a big deal since familys do it all the time, but when you have to buy and extra 130.00 worth of formula it makes it a little harder.

The girls have been giving me such a hard time this week. Trinity has got in trouble so far twice this week failed 2 test and then lied to me about it. Told me her teacher helped other students in the class and refused to help her but really she wanted to go get on the computer so she rused the test and failed her fault not the teachers.So tony punished her until Monday when she takes her next test. Shelby decided that she didnt want to get ready for school every morning she has been running out the house about to miss the bus. She keeps calling trinity by a different name over and over again i have asked her to stop no she will not listen. So i punished her from the tv,well i guess she thought that if she trashed the room she would get unpunished, asked her to clean up the room and wouldnt. I know that its kid stuff nothing much but everything at once it making me go crazy.

My mom is acting so different. She is hanging out with an old friend that she used to work with. And thats ok she needs to get out more. but her whole attuide is changing like she is trying to be just like her friend who isnt the best person. I dont know i can just tell that my mom is acting different .My paw paw had a heart attach monday she called me crying i got her to clam down i told her that if she wanted to go to texas that me and the babies would go and i would get my mother in law to get the girls on the bus and watch them until tony got home from work. She said ok we might do that so i tell tony who isnt crazy over the whole idea but said ok since it was something important. well last night my mom called me and told me that she just made it to texas. I said with ms barabra she said yes and i told her i didnt like the person she was becoming which might not have been the right words are at the right time but i was hurt that my own mom didnt even tell me that she was even leaving. I mean who's mom leaves to go out of state and doesnt tell their daughter who she talks to everyday. well not here recent she has been to busy with ms barabra to call or stop by and then she wants to know why skylar doesnt want her well hello she doesnt know you anymore. She said no thats not it you just spoil her and hold her all day. Do you know how bad that hurt coming from my own mom.

I have been treating tony so bad because i have been having such a bad week and taking the blame out on him for everything. I didnt want to talk to him, watch a movie with him, or let him hold me in bed. I have just been wanting to keep to myself. I went to lauryns house tuesday and cooked dinner when he got home all he had to do was take it out the oven when the timer went off ,feed the kids ,give them a bath and put them to bed. No big deal to me i do it everyday. well i call him on the way home and he hadnt done anything i asked if he cleaned the kitchen because i cant stand to have extra food sit out the smells makes me sick. but i was so rude to him over nothing and i feel so bad for treating him so bad.

Also this week we find out that erin the kids real mom called our lawyer saying that she has done everything she can to see the kids what does she need to do now. First of all she has never showed up to pick up the kids doesnt even know when the dates are. Has not called the children since may 25,2008 hasnt taking any drug test and owns almost 3000 dollars in child support. for her to have the nerve to call our lawyer and lie to them saying that she has tried everything makes me want to beat the poo out of her. She hasnt seen the kids since last christmas and she only stayed an hour. She doesnt even know what gavin goes through with his head the pain that he has to take. so why lie and say that you tried everything and try to make us look bad when we are the ones taking care of all the kids with no help from her.

o and i stopped smoking this week so that puts the cherry on top of my stress

i think that i cried more writing this then i have all week just letting it all out.

Camping trip

some pictures from our family camping trip!!

Gone Camping!!

SO we leave tomorrow to go on our family camping trip!! it will be our first family trip with all 6 of us!! We are going to Percy Quinn in mississippi and we are going to be sleeping in a tent. We had no intention of sleeping in a tent one bc im not big on sleeping on the ground and two because of skylar. but our plans for texas fell through and this was the next plan. I never thought that packing for 6 people would be this hard. im so used to packing for just me and everything that i need now i have to make sure that i have everything for 5 other people and the hardest person to pack for was skylar. Skylar has so much stuff going that its unreal. So far we have spent over 200 dollars and we have not even left yet and i still have to go to the store tomorrow for somethings that i left off my list.

My brother charlie is suppose to be coming to my house to let the dogs outside and feed them i really hope that he does it bc if not im going to be coming home to a very nasty house. we were going to bring oscar with us but then our other dog would be loney and by herself inside and we cant bring both of them bc jazmine isnt a people person at all.

When we get back from our trip i have such a busy week we still have so much school shopping to do before school starts we go wednesday and meet the girls teachers and bring all their supplies. Im very thankful that my mother in law always buys the kids uniforms for school. im sure she will cut back once we have all 4 kids in school. but hey thats 200 d0llars that we dont have to come up with.

I have to take holly my maw maws dog that i have been having for a month to the vet in the morning to have her stiches out and then she will be going back home. Im kinda sad about giving her back but i know that maw maw misses her alot.

Sorry i missed this girls night im so ready for the next one i love having my 1 day a month out!!

Gavins injection/FamilyTrip

So today Gavin had another injection.. two weeks ago it was a very stress day. they did his injection and everything that they put in all came out plus some of what he had already in his head. during the week some more came out and his balloon was starting to get really soft. Today his injection went great they used a smaller needle and he wasnt in as much pain as normal. The dr said that if it starts leaking again then we have two things that we can do 1 we could go ahead and do the surgery of what skin he has grow so far and then go back in and put another balloon in and start over again until we have enought to cover the back of his head. and 2 would be to have a surgery and cut him open and replace the pump with another one. I hate the fact that i have to choose something that is going to put him in more pain then he is already in it isnt fair for him he is just still a baby. please just keep gavin in your prayers and pray that he doesnt have to start all over again.

this weekend we are going on a family trip. this is our first family trip with all 6 of us!! we are going camping in mississippi. i really hope that skylar does good i dont think that she is going to want to sleep much because its just too hot outside and we are going to camp in a tent. we were planning on getting a cabin but they didnt have any left when we booked our stay. it should be fun i cant wait the kids have been so great this summer and a camping trip would just be the topping on the cake.

Ashlie im trying to get some people together so that we can have a jewerly party at my house i will let you know..

SKYLAR IS 6 MONTHS TODAY!!

WOW WOW my little girl is 6 months today!! i cant believe that in 6 more months that she will be 1 year old. She is getting so big and is such a happy baby. She hasnt started sitting up by herself just yet but im hoping that she starts soon. She gets to be moved up to different baby food now!! Im sure that she is going to love some chicken and gravy!! I have never loved someone so much she is my world. She goes to get her 6 month old shots next friday(i hate shot day) and gavin gets an injection on tuesday so im not ready for next week at all.

Daddy's Little Girl!!

at the hospital holding his new baby girl

Daddy sleeping with his angel!!

This night he was talking to her and it made my heart melt.

poor baby was sick

look at that smile she just loves her daddy!!

If this doesnt say daddys little girl i dont know what does!!

Showing skybug the hippos

Daddy playing with SKylar at the playground at the zoo!!

Skylar is Daddy's Little Girl!! I didnt know how tony was going to act when skylar was born since he has already had 3 other kids before her, but he is the best daddy. She is such a daddys girl!!

I LOVE BEING A MOMMA!!

I love being a momma!! Skylar is getting so big and smiling and laughing. She even trys to talk now. God has truly blessed me.

her brother and sisters are so great with her and are always wanting to help and take pictures of new things that she is doing and it makes me such a happy momma. I was scared that the girls were going to hate her and not have anything to do with her and that gavin would be mean to her since she was getting everything that he used to but i was so wrong. the girls are such great big sisters and are always talking about how they cant wait until she gets older. and gavin wow he is the best big brother, always wanting to feed her and hold her bottle. he helps change her diaper and then goes and throws it away helps me put her to sleep.

i love my life and my family so much!!!

Cant wait till girls night miss you all so much!!