Gavin's Surgery Tomorrow

Gavins surgery was moved to this wednesday. We have to be at the hospital at 5 in the morning. Im so scared for him but i know that he is going to do good.

well i tried to call his real mom to let her know about the surgery just because i thought it was the right thing to do but i was wrong.

we went to court feb 2 and she showed up but she only wanted to claim the kids on this years tax return which was to late we had already filed taxes. so we set up another 6 months trial with her well she wasnt shown up to pick up the kids at all and doesnt want anything to do with them. She said that they are my problem now. what a great person.

gavin doesnt even know that im not his real mom and how am i going to tell him when he is old enought to know thats going to break my heart.

i may not of gave birth to him but in my heart he is my son and i love these children more then i can put into words.

well please keep our little man in your prays as her goes through this in the morning and pray that this surgery goes as plan and we dont have problems like last time.

surgery moved

Im so upset because now they moved gavins surgery to wednesday because his tissue expander still hasnt came in yet its a special ordere because of his size they dont just have them on hand. I just wish that they would of called ahead of time instead of the day before his surgery. now tony has to take off of work next wednesday.

well since gavin doesnt have surgery im going to go get my hair highlighted and i really want to go and get a ped on my feet since its summer time

thanks for the prayers and keep praying for our little man

Gavin's Surgery

Friday morning gavin will be at womans hospital at 5:oo in the morning.We will begin the 2nd surgery on his head. They are going to go in and place a tissue expander balloon on the top of his head and run a pump down behind his ear. Then after 10 days we will go 1st a week for six weeks and have his head injected with water were the balloon is to the it will make is his head grow so we can us his new skin to do the 3rd surgery. I have a couple of picture off the Internet of what his head is going to look like once it starts growing, i started crying when i saw them and hate that my little man has to go through all this pain. It said that his head should go back down to his normal size about 3 months after the 3rd surgery. Im praying that he doesnt caught another infection with the surgery like he did with the 1st surgery. Please keep our son in your prayers he is just a baby. But the 3rd surgery is the big one that im really scared about.

And i love you lauryn and we are praying for you and your family

Skylar is 3 months old today

wow it just feels like yesterday i was in the hospital waiting to meet my little girl!! the time has went by so fast. I never knew that i could love someone so much, and that person could change my life forever. Everytime she smiles it just melts my heart. I can stay awake all night to just watch her sleep, anytime she crys im always right there giving her whatever she wants. I thank god for blessing me with such a great gift. I almost lost her so many times during the whole 8 months that i carried her and prayed to god please let me have this one. I had to fight a hard battle and i won and if i had to i would do it all over again!! I love you Skylar Ann

Skylar has her first tooth coming up and poor baby it hurts her so bad.

Im going Friday to go get another scan done for my cancer im hoping for better news im going to a different dr just for a second look at it and to see what he sayes. I know its something serious and i need to get it taken care of soon but its at the back of my head with taking care of skylar and then gavin has his next surgery coming up im not worried about myself just my kids. Tony called me selfish and i didnt understand why because im putting the children ahead of myself like any mother would do. he said that i was selfish because its something that could kill me if not taking care of and that i would be selfish to make the kids grow up with out their mom. i couldnt do nothing but cry i ran to the bathroom and locked my self up and cried and then i wanted to blame god for this asking him how could he do it to me why?tony is right and im glad that he gave me a wake up call, tony and i cried together and i told him that im really scared i dont want the worse to happen i just want to beable to live my life. I have never understand why things happen but i know that god has a plan for me.

please keep me and my family in your prays im so scared